“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.  And if you find someone the love the you you love, well that’s just fabulous.”

“If you take that, you are returning to rubbish.  You don’t deserve that.  I can’t respect you if you accept this rubbish.” 

He’s adorable. He’s my rock.  And he’s so honest.  And so right.  I don’t want to return to rubbish.  I deserve better.  He’s Kenyan, which is why the word rubbish is used!

I’m really bad at taking advice.  There are very few people that I listen to and take advice from.  But, the best advice I have received as of late applies to many situations.

He’s *tried* to turn people against me.  He fired our temporary babysitter (which is why Abigail is at her grandparents house).  He yelled at me.   He pushed me.  He called me names.  I simply don’t take that.   My patience with him is gone. 

The child support paperwork was sent in this morning.   

Abigail’s Favorite Song

Have I failed as a mother? 

At least I don’t let her watch the video, right?!

It’s day 3 of THE. NEW. JOB.  So far…so good.  It’s the stereotypical first couple days.  Paperwork, meeting people, being confused, and a little boredom.  Our office is small.  4 total people.  Four adults that have priorities other than drinking.  And staying out late.  But, also four adults that seem to know how to have a good time.  And how to seperate work from play.  And, maybe most importantly, people who are passionate and love their job.  It’s hard not to be excited.

And the hours.  Oh, the hours!  8:00am-4:30.  MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY.  ‘Nuff Said.

Abigail is staying with a friend until I have the daycare situation settled.  Auntie Brianna and Uncle Richard.  Uncle Vincent.  And Uncle Timothy and Aunt Ladorian…all of which we are not related to at all.  Except for the fact that the Uncles comes from Uganda, and so does Abigail’s father.   I really owe a lot to these guys.  They’ve made me feel welcome and have made it clear that, no matter how small or large the favor, they are here to help. 

It really does take a village to raise a child.  And we have that village.  Finally.

“It hurts to grow. Anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying, but here’s the truth. The more things change, the more things stay the same. And sometimes, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is everything.”
~Grey’s Anatomy

Excerpts from the speech.  Read the whole thing here.

Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today that family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation. They are teachers and coaches. They are mentors and role models. They are examples of success and the men who constantly push us toward it.

And what I’ve realized is that life doesn’t count for much unless you’re willing to do your small part to leave our children – all of our children – a better world. Even if it’s difficult. Even if the work seems great. Even if we don’t get very far in our lifetime.

That is our ultimate responsibility as fathers and parents. We try. We hope. We do what we can to build our house upon the sturdiest rock. And when the winds come, and the rains fall, and they beat upon that house, we keep faith that our Father will be there to guide us, and watch over us, and protect us, and lead His children through the darkest of storms into light of a better day. That is my prayer for all of us on this Father’s Day, and that is my hope for this country in the years ahead. May God Bless you and your children. Thank you.

I’m moving up.  Well, I’m working on it.  In Wisconsin, I qualified for all kinds of state-aid.  And I readily accepted some of it.  I needed it.  It was my first venture into the REAL WORLD.  And I wasn’t making anything.  I needed to pay for daycare and insurance, and my salary did not cut it.  It was very hard for me to accept this.  I had a college diploma, a full-time job….why do I have to have Medicaid?  I’m not good with handouts.  But, I was deserving of them.  I needed help to get on my feet.  I needed the chance to gain experience so that I would be able to get off of the government programs–WIC, Medicaid, Child Care Assistance.  And,  I think I’ve done it.  Money will be tight–that’s a given.  My salary is higher, but the cost of living in St. Louis is much higher.  But, with a little budgeting, I am self-sufficient. 

**I have nothing against people who need the governments help to survive.  With our economy, it’s understandable.  The only thing that bothers me are the people who aren’t working to better there situation.  Or not working in general.  But that’s a whole ‘nother topic. 

I’d just like to say…Go ME!

I’m heading HOME a day earlier.  Mostly at my own will.  Not totally, though.  I’m 100% disappointed in how everything has been handled with my (soon-to-be) former employer.  I know that I am causing added work for many people, but it’s all about NUMBER ONE.  They should know that, because they feel the same way about themselves. 

I’m going to a better organization. 
I’m going to go in with an open-mind.  
I’m excited to start anew.

Life is what you make it.  I know that.  It’s all about the attitude.  My attitude has been horribe for the last 2 months….I’m aware of that.  But, I’m changing it.  Right.  NOW.